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Deafened by the overwhelming silence, Sue cautiously peered at her mother. Once again, her face resembled a grim, stony mask. Her mother's jaw quivered with a life of its own. Cold blue fire spit out her eyes.
Her mother spoke quietly. “If you're so smart, missy, why aren't your grades better? How could you bring home a B on that test? We all know you can make straight A's.”
Sue jumped in her chair. “I didn't hear you.” I was watching your stone face come to life.
Her mother's voiced climbed an octave. “If you paid attention, we know you could get straight A's. They tested you at school and told us you were smart. What is your problem?”
“It's just one B, ma'am,” Sue replied. I'll never be good enough to make her love me .
“I'm tired of hearing how smart you are.”
Sue felt tears welling up in her secret heart. She had a secret heart like cows had extra stomachs. I can cry in my secret heart and she'll never know she made me cry .
“I'm tired of hearing how smart I am too.”
“You're tired of it? I'm sick to death of your teachers telling me how smart you are and how I need to encourage you and pay more attention to you. I hate it. I don't see that you are so damn smart. Go to bed. I'm tired of talking to you and I'm tired of looking at my so, so smart child that is really stupid. Go!”
Sue felt the tears in her secret heart overflowing as she lay in bed. Her eyes were as dry as Death Valley. She's right. I am stupid. I can't do anything right. She's my mom. She's got to be right. If she's tired of looking at me…I'll show her . Sue faded into a restless sleep.
Saturday dawned bright and sunny. At the breakfast table, Sue held her breath. Maybe she forgot about the fight.
“I meant what I said last night. Those people who tested you were wrong. I'm not listening to them anymore. See if you can manage to do your chores right while I am at the grocery store.”
Sue sighed as she looked at Stone face. I'm tired of listening to you. Anything is better than this .
As soon as her mother left, Sue ran to her room, grabbed a blanket, and headed to the kitchen. She stuffed food into her backpack along with the blanket and ran outside. She got on her bike and pedaled away. Anything has got to be better than this. I'm taking action. As long as I'm moving it's got to be better. I'll head to the beach. I'm just a kid so I don't need much to eat.
As she navigated the neighborhood streets the sun shone brighter, the air smelled crisper and cleaner as the breeze played with her hair. Soon she left the neighborhood streets behind. Cars began to fly by and honk at her to get out of the way. Sue ignored them. The further she went, the lighter she felt. Her secret heart was no longer shrouded in frozen tears.
A car stopped suddenly in front of her. She slammed on her brakes. She heard a siren shrieking. Horrified, she watched helplessly as a policeman got out and approached her.
“You are on a busy road, young lady. Where are you going? Do your parents know about this?”
Sue stood frozen. Her secret heart was shrieking. She looked at the policeman. He had a kind, craggy face. His eyes didn't spit fire, and his face wasn't made of stone. Maybe he would help her.
“Bikes aren't allowed on busy roads. You wouldn't be running away from home, would you?”
“Please don't make me go back. She doesn't like me. Please help me.”
“Listen, kid, I ran away from home, too. I would fight with my parents and run. But I was always glad to get back home. I know you will be too.”
Defeated, Sue climbed into the car. The policeman's voice droned on in the distance. Sue was terrified. Her mother was going to be beyond furious.
I thought doing something, anything would make things better. I've embarrassed her. Now she'll really think I am stupid. And she's right, I am .
Panic raged within her and time seemed to stop. The world slipped away. The word stupid reverberated through her head.
Slowly she swam through the fog of fear as a shadow made its presence known. There was her granite-faced mother with the invisible fire spitting from her eyes... Her fear wrapped around her like a cocoon. As long as it was there, she couldn't feel anything else.
All too soon, she saw their home through the haze. Taking any action hadn't turned out to be so good for her after all. She heard her mother speaking to her through layers of cotton.
“Go pick out a switch from the tree and go to your room. I'll be there shortly.”
Sue walked toward her favorite tree and sighed. The haze of fear melted as she remembered her secret heart. Her secret heart was heavy with tears, but her eyes were as dry as Death Valley.
Talk to Stephanie on the Fictionville blog